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Locals Report UFO Exploding Last Night
Unconfirmed reports have claimed what may be the most compelling modern evidence of extraterrestrial life appeared last night over the Northeast United States, around 2:30 EST. Witnesses say that a UFO "shaped like a bullet, like from Super Mario Brothers" was seen through home telescopes by amateur astronomers, being "chased" by an inexplicably determined fireball. The ship was claimed to have been intermittently gaining and then losing space ahead of the explosive entity, while random parts of the ship's body would break off without apparent cause. The "chase" is said to have gone on for some minutes before the ball of fire quite suddenly destroyed the ship and disappeared without a trace.
Above is a supposed photograph of the incident, taken through a telescope and false-colored.Radio activity is also reported by ham radio operators, some claiming the occupants of the ship were "obviously speaking some alien language." Though only small snatches of sound were clear enough to hear, radiomen say the pilots of the ship were apparently shouting over each other frantically, each trying to get the other to do something to rectify the situation. Though admitting he was not an expert in xenolinguistics, one of the radiomen claims the pilots had a distinct edge of "despair" in their tone, as if they were exhausted or believed their fiery doom to be inevitable.
Finally, SETI has put out a statement that they received an apparent SOS from the ship, containing a few unintelligible phrases and a grainy schematic showing the ship's crew was under the impression they were trying to outrun a supernova.
Government officials have refused to comment on the situation, stressing that much of what has been gleaned is "mere speculation by radical ET enthusiasts."
Speculation indeed abounds as to why the ship appeared in our space, why the fire seemed to be chasing it, and why the crew believed it was a supernova. Howsoever advanced they may have been for accomplishing interstellar flight, their sensor systems seem to be a bit limited.
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